Life is brutiful, we know that right dear ones? It’s both brutal and beautiful (term coined by Momastery’s Glennon Doyle). But here’s the thing, we can’t let fear of the brutal stop us from fully experiencing and investing in the beautiful. I have dreams. Big dreams. And every time I start to fully embody them, all these fear based thoughts pop up. Thoughts like, “Yeah, that awesome thing will probably manifest and then you’ll end up with cancer.” <—Brutal right? Here’s what I’ve learned: I can’t stop these thoughts from coming up but I don’t have to give them the time of day. I find myself waiving to them more and more as they pass, “Oh, hey there. There you are again. You just keep doing your thing, if you feel you must, while I wave to you over here from my bliss.”
I used to be a glass-half-empty girl all the way. No sense in getting your hopes up right? Expect the least so you’re pleasantly surprised at best and marginally disappointed at worst. I remember thinking about potential boyfriends back in middle school. I’d pick out the guys who presented the smallest possibility of rejection. You know, the over weight, shy ones, with a face full of pimples. They were normally the sweet ones so that was a plus 🙂
But that’s not who I am anymore. I’m not going to not believe for my best because I may be disappointed. Seriously, what kind of life is that? I’d rather shoot for the stars, even if it means taking a detour through disappointment at times, because what do I care how I get there, as long as I land on the moon? And I BELIEVE the moon is possible. I have a rocket ship named belief and it can literally take me anywhere in this Universe that I want to go. Are astroid fields possible? Yes, but have you seen star wars? That never stopped ducking princess Leah and it’s not going to stop me! <—You need this kind of bad-ass self talk when you’re riding a rocket ship to the moon. It’s the extra turbo that helps you make the leap into cyber space. Anyway…
Like many of us, when I really dwell on the good in my life and the good I know that’s coming, my heart often flutters with fear. I’ve learned this fear stems from two false beliefs. The first being that you’re not worthy of the good, and the second, that you pay for the good by surviving the bad: x-amount of suffering earns me x-amount of good. This is bullshit. I don’t know where it stems from but most of us end up programmed this way. But guess what? You can change your story. You can challenge these beliefs. You can wave them away as you relax by the water with your toes in the sand. Stop believing for the other shoe to drop. If you believe hard enough in this “other shoe” (because this positive thing is happening the negative one must be right around the corner) the Universe will eventually supply you with it, because you attracted it into your life through your belief! So turn that other shoe into a Jimmy-Choo and let it fall into your closet instead.
EMBRACE the beauty. EMBRACE the good. Look around at all your blessings. Take inventory, and let your heart feel overwhelmed with gratitude. The next time you’re flooded with positive feelings (you had an awesome work-out, you just connected on a level of pure JOY with your child, you received positive feedback at work, GREAT sex, etc.) allow yourself to fully embody those feelings. Because here’s the deal. These positive feelings, these wonderful experiences, they sustain us when we suffer disappointments and set-backs. By feeling the beauty, by allowing it to fill us up, we create a reservoir that makes facing the brutal much easier.
So don’t be afraid to dream BIG dear ones. Welcome the good, the fun, the joy. It doesn’t mean bad, or sad, or sick, is right around the corner. Think about successful people you know or are aware of. They’re no more super human than you. They started out “ordinary” and “normal” and “nothing special” too. But somewhere along the way they chose courage. They chose faith. They chose to believe it was possible. And they watched those doubtful, fearful thoughts float on by while they drank champagne on the moon.
No matter what you’ve been through, how you grew up, what your circumstances are right now, you can change your thoughts and thereby change your life. Believe for good in your life. You deserve it as much as the next person- promise.
Oprah? She’s normal. She still poops and battles her weight and has to wear glasses when she reads and so on. But she believed in her normal self. She didn’t turn down her syndicated talk show because she was afraid she wasn’t pretty enough, or smart enough, or something enough. And those thoughts? I’m sure they were there in her head. She just brought them along for the ride. Maybe they started out in the passenger seat and she had to continually swat their hand away from the steering wheel. Eventually she probably booted them to the back seat so that SHE could control the radio. And now?! Well I’m quite sure they’re in the trunk, tied up, and silenced by duct tape. The key to her success? She never let those fearful, doubtful, nasty thoughts drive. She drove, they chattered on in the background. This is my dream for you dear ones. Choose your destination- the feelings you want to feel, the things you want to manifest, that BIG IMPOSSIBLE DREAM that only barely exists through a cloud of smoke in your mind. Choose, and then believe, and then drive. And don’t forget to waive those brutal thoughts on by.
P.S. I love you. You know this right? Also, the “fear along for the ride” analogy was in my brain because Elizabeth Gilbert put it there. I heard her use this to describe how she dealt with fear (just to give credit where credit is due). And finally, I didn’t mean “ducking” when referring to princess Leah 😉