Tonight we rode through the town I grew up in. We’d just had a wonderful meal at our favorite restaurant and we were riding home with the windows rolled down and happy music turned up. The good vibes were palatable. It had been a good day.
Life is full of so many days, isn’t it dear ones? Just all sorts of days. Up and down goes the roller coaster of life. Still, my “bad” days are NOTHING compared to the actual suffering that goes on in this world, and thus I know I live in a heaven of sorts. There is a beautiful cord of grace that runs through my life. I am aware and exceptionally grateful for it.
I was thinking about my blessings as we drove through my hometown. I saw the little girl I used to be as we drove the city streets. It’s a small town and I swear we passed by three of the places I lived, two of the schools I attended, and the street my babysitter lived on, not to mention all the public places I grew up frequenting (grocery stores, parks, etc.). While driving through this nostalgia I could see the ghost of the girl I was.
She was young and afraid. Her childhood was unpredictable. She saw lots of sadness and uncertainty. It made her insecure and uncertain too. She was happy but she played it small. Never sure of what might be coming around the corner. She was thankful for every good thing, but refused to get her hopes up on what might be. She firmly believed that if she was kind and kept her head down probably everything would be alright.
I looked at that girl, from the comfort and security of my grown woman status, and I wished her well. I smiled and told her, “Baby girl, you’re going to be alright. You don’t know it yet, but you’re going to grow up and live a life you won’t even allow yourself to dream of. Little by little, you’re going to discover your own strength. Your own beauty. Your own power. And you’ll still be scared. But you won’t let it keep your head down. And you’ll learn to live your life in spite of your fear because life continues to show up for you and say, “It’s going to be okay.”
What would you say to your younger self dear ones? What wisdom or healing energy would you impart?
I dream dreams now. Dreams I won’t give up on. I’ve lived through hard things and they haven’t killed me, thus I know it’s all worth trying for. Because even if I fail or bad things unexpectedly happen, I know I have the inner strength and life’s gift of grace to get back up and simply keep trying.
The little girl that was me was afraid to give this world anything, and now I want to give it my whole heart. Thank you grace for turning caterpillars into butterflies. You sure do, do it well.