I’m starting something new in my life. Taking a greater step toward my passion and purpose. It’s sooooo good. Also scary as hell. The degree of fear that has risen up within me during this transition has been mind blowing. I was born an extra fearful person. I’ve written to you about that before. Much of my journey has been overcoming this fear so that I could fully live. Fully live. Also, scary as hell. I’m in the beginning. The change process. My heart is filled with hopes and dreams but I’m still at this icky part of figuring out how to make it all happen. Should I make it all happen? Is this necessary? Can I really do this?
I took a hike by myself this morning to help reconnect with spirit and relieve some of the anxiety this transition period is causing me. I’ve never hiked on my own before. The trail started out in dense forest. Standing at the trail head I was afraid to begin.
What about the animals? Don’t we have bobcats in these mountains? And what about the PEOPLE?? Don’t serial killers like to hide under cover of moss? Oh shoot I forgot my mace!
I told myself to just begin, I could always turn back. This is a tactic I’ve developed over the years to trick myself into starting scary things. JUST BEGIN. Very few things are un-reversible.
So I did. I was afraid for most of the dense forest part. But thankfully, I’m just brave enough now to continue the things I start.
The higher I got the less anxious I felt. I let nature talk to me and I talked to it. Wishing it love and protection, thinking of my journey and all the things I’ve let fall away so that I could rise. I thought about the stuff I still need let go of- guilt, the need for certainty, etc. And then, before I knew it, I was at the top. The glorious top. The slight breeze up there beckoned my heart and warmed it like a fiery hearth on a cold winters day. I danced a little. Made sure to feel every rock and tiny gravel under my feet. I looked and listened to all the glory of the top. And then I remembered the beginning and how scared I had been.
Beginnings are always hard dear ones. No matter what you’re beginning. But we don’t get the mountain tops without them.
So the next time you’re afraid BUT SURE that you really want to do something, just start. One foot in front of the other. Feel the fear and do it anyway. The view from the top is always worth it 🙂