What is your fear story? What is the limiting belief you have about yourself that keeps holding you back?
Mine stems from childhood. I wasn’t enough to save our family. To help my parents. I had the desire, even then, to make the world (my world) a better place and I couldn’t do it. I hustled for their love and did everything in my power to make their lives easier and still it wasn’t enough. Bingo.
I’m not enough. I’m not enough to do X or Y and forget about Z. I’m failing here, too imperfect there, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry (constantly apologizing about not being enough). You get it. It’s icky to even read.
I became conscious of this fear story some time ago, and just being aware of it helps me push past it. I now know my insecurities are coming from a false truth about myself and so I feel the fear and do it anyway.
Except…I still find myself getting stuck in this shit storm of negative belief. I’m pouring more light into the world than ever. And guess what? My fear story is SCREAMING at me. We keep getting in a drunken brawl, and I wake up the next morning with a hangover and feeling like poop.
Thankfully, I’ve learned to NOTICE when I’m caught in fear EVENTUALLY. Sometimes I find myself totally believing this fear story for days at a time. I’m laid back and nodding my head at everything it’s telling me until finally I wake up. “Wait a minute, this doesn’t feel right. This doesn’t feel like empowerment. This doesn’t feel like light or grace or truth.” I let out an exasperated sigh, roll my eyes, and hit my knees until I’m back in alignment.
I’ll probably be doing this for the rest of life. The fear story will get quieter and I’ll get better at ignoring it. But in the mean time, I’m going to keep on being a light worker while practicing acceptance and love for who I am NOW.
That’s what freedom from my fear story does. It gives me ownership. Ownership of my imperfections and mistakes. Ownership of all the glorious potential I have. Ownership of where I’m at, right now, on the journey. I am enough. It is enough. I can spread the light and let it go.
What’s the negative story you tell about yourself? How is it holding you back? I challenge you to think about these questions and then start to notice when this comes up for you. Work on refusing to believe that story. I AM enough. And so are you. Together, we’re like a glitter covered unicorn shittin’ rainbows. Or maybe Xenia Warrior Princess if that’s more your thing. Whatever, just make sure you keep slaying that self doubt. The world needs your glorious light <3
“If you knew who walked beside you on the path that you have chosen fear would be impossible.” -A Course In Miracles